Who Knew? Plants Have Ears!

Who knew?  When I finished planting and exhorted all the little plantlets and seeds to grow, who knew they would actually listen?

They did!  Go figure.  Instead of a dirt patch, I now have:

Beans!!!   Beany beany beans!!!

 Lots of them! 

And weeds!!!  Weedy weedy weeds!

Crap, no, that's not good.  Possibly there's a frequency I can speak in that weeds won't hear?  I'll work on that and get back to you.

And strawberries!

Red and ripey!

Once again, my Ozark Beauty strawberries are kicking every other strawberry's butt in production.  Yeay! 

Is there a trick to this?  Yes, there are two.

1.  Just for the first year, pinch off all the flower buds.  Let them grow and get all happy in their dirt before they think about reproducing.  Don't let them flower, so they don't berry.  Yes, it's hard to wait, but we're homesteaders, and nothing we do is fast.  I think we can be patient.

2.  Cut off the runners.  This has been circling the web lately as a "new" idea, and that cracks me up.  It's like a duh.  Think logically for a minute: if your goal was to produce another like yourself, and you did that with a runner, then heck, you're done and you don't have to try as hard to spread your seeds (as in with a berry), because that's just gravy.  But, if your little clones are now gone, you need to work harder on berry production, so those seeds at least have a chance to take your genetic material into the future.  So you get more berries.

But what do you do with the runners?  I guess you could toss them, but since I'm not made of money, I don't.  I clip their little runner stem close to their little rootlets, dip their little butts in some rooting hormone, and plant them in a pot with some nice dirt in it.  Then I water them really well, and wait.  And eventually, their roots will grow and they will be a big plant all by themselves, and you can add them back into your garden with their parents and have more berries.  But not that first year, since you plucked all the flower buds off, right?  Right.

This does work, and I would say go ahead and try it, but be aware for the first few days after you've put those little babies in the pot they will look like CRAP, and you'll think you've killed them.  But be patient, they need time.

And maybe sing them a little song or something, to let them know you love them.

Not that I would do that......

'Cause that'd just be weird, right?

Er....right?

....

(clearing throat) Anywho....it seems the corn listened as well, because little corns are popping up too!

Yeay, little corns!

And little zinnias!

But look who didn't listen?  The big dirt patch full of field corn!

Stupid big dirt patch. 

Maybe in a few more days.